[In your best deep south accent]

Man I tell ya hwat, all this kowr-ann-tyne ruckus has me in a right state.
Now the guv'nor says we're not meant to leave the premises and I've jes' gone pluumb stir crazy.
Makes me wonder how that little queer Anonymous does it, locked up in his room all day.
I declare, the good lord says we oughtn't be judgemental, lest'n we get a judgin' ourselves, but all that into consideration that Anonymous still sure is one big ol' fuckin' faggot, heheh.
That ol' motherfucker. What a tool.
Consarn it, now what was I saying before I got all distracted-like?
Aw yeah, well ah jes' been stuck here fixin' to lose mah damn marbles waitin' on this Chinaman's sickness to pass.
Mama says it's like one of them bibbucal plagues what Moses an' his crew done cooked up, but I shore hope ain't no end times comin' here an' now, I ain't done got right with Jesus just yet.
Even now in my times of trials, lawd I must confess, I've been overtaken in mah spuhrit by a pow'rful hankerin' and a turruhble luuuhst.
Why I can't seems to help myself keep my hands away from my sinful parts, and twixt us friends I'm sore tempted to sneak out to see the chicken man down at the local Kuhr-nulls.
You know that nice boy with them biiig ol' hands an' those nice teeth.
Tell you what, Mary-Sue, tell you what right now, this yellow fever better cool down soon so I can get out the house and go see that boy again.
I've a powerful fever for that good ol' Kentucky Fried DICK!